The Presidential Race(s)

As candidates for the presidency of the United States, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders are in the middle of a race.  But what if they were each partaking in motorsport races instead?  Which race would each candidate be best at?

1) Hillary Clinton: Formula One

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The most established and popular race.  Everyone has heard of it, it is what most people consider the norm for motorsports.  Not much happens throughout a season but you can count on Formula One’s experience and consistency.  Favorite among a-list celebrities and sometimes impacted by things a crazy man named Bernie says.

2) Donald Trump:  Gumball 3000

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A race fit for billionaires— it isn’t much of a race at all.  Not like the serious races on the democratic side.  Very gaudy and all about appearances rather than performance, the Gumball 3000 is filled with supercars, scantily clad women, gaudy decorations, and superfluously showing the world how money makes you better than the rest of us— The Gumball 3000 is Donald Trump incarnate.

3)  Bernie Sanders:  24 hrs of Lemons

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The everyman’s race: Le Mans for the 99%.  It isn’t filled with gorgeous cars or the height of automobile engineering, but it is filled with  grit, endurance, and integrity to make 24 hours of grueling racing in cars that cost less than used refrigerators.  Bernie is the 24 hours of Lemons because he cares about the race— not the money, not the looks, and not the attention, just the pure thrill of motorsport.