The Presidential Race(s)

As candidates for the presidency of the United States, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders are in the middle of a race.  But what if they were each partaking in motorsport races instead?  Which race would each candidate be best at?

1) Hillary Clinton: Formula One

hillary

The most established and popular race.  Everyone has heard of it, it is what most people consider the norm for motorsports.  Not much happens throughout a season but you can count on Formula One’s experience and consistency.  Favorite among a-list celebrities and sometimes impacted by things a crazy man named Bernie says.

2) Donald Trump:  Gumball 3000

donald.jpg

 

A race fit for billionaires— it isn’t much of a race at all.  Not like the serious races on the democratic side.  Very gaudy and all about appearances rather than performance, the Gumball 3000 is filled with supercars, scantily clad women, gaudy decorations, and superfluously showing the world how money makes you better than the rest of us— The Gumball 3000 is Donald Trump incarnate.

3)  Bernie Sanders:  24 hrs of Lemons

bernie

The everyman’s race: Le Mans for the 99%.  It isn’t filled with gorgeous cars or the height of automobile engineering, but it is filled with  grit, endurance, and integrity to make 24 hours of grueling racing in cars that cost less than used refrigerators.  Bernie is the 24 hours of Lemons because he cares about the race— not the money, not the looks, and not the attention, just the pure thrill of motorsport.

Cars that Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens characters would drive

Minor spoilers to The Force Awakens may be featured in this article

1    Han Solo and Chewbacca

Han and Chewy

Volvo 850 Super Touring Car

volvo-touring-car

Of course Han and Chewy would drive something that looks like a hunk of complete junk on the outside but go likes hell nonetheless.  This purpose built racecar looks like something a person as old as Yoda may drive, but actually has 290 horsepower from a 2.3 liter five cylinder engine.  It can make the Kessel run in less than 14 parsecs.  Er— 12 parsecs, actually.

2    Poe Dameron

Porsche Carrera GT

The best pilot in the New Republic would certainly drive a car that is insanely fast if you are a good driver.  Most pilots probably could not handle the raw power and lack of aides that come with the Carrera GT, but Poe would be able to master its incredible speed and agility.

 

3    Finn

A Lyft or Uber

Finn cannot fly a star fighter, so I assume he probably is not much of a driver either.  This hero of The Force Awakens is also a traitor with no brand loyalty, so he is likely to use Uber and Lyft interchangeably to move about the galaxy.

 

4    Captain Phasma

DeLorean DMC-12

They are both stainless steel on the outside and everyone thought they would be a much bigger deal.

5    Kylo Ren

Jaguar F-type R

First, we all know that villians drive Jags.  And while there are other cars that look more sinister and drive much faster, there are also villians in Star Wars that are more powerful and more evil than Kylo Ren.  They also tend to be more clinical.  The F-type R is bursting with emotion, just like the conflicted son of Han and Leia Solo.

6    Rey

Mazda MX-5 “Miata”

The Miata is supposedly the answer to every question about which car a person should get.  It is good at everything, and so is Rey.  When she is not speeding through the dunes from Star Destroyer to Star Destroyer on Jakku with her awesome speeder bike, she probably drives a Miata— The 2016 model with fierce and attractive looks to match her own.

7    Stormtrooper that watches Rey

Aston Martin DB-10

I mean, it was designed specifically for him.

8    BB-8

Google Self-Driving Car

BB-8 is just about the only thing in the galaxy cuter than Google’s Self-Driving Car, and its autonomous nature is perfect for a little droid that does not have the arms or legs necessary to drive itself.

8    TR-8R

Volkswagen Golf GTI W12-650

That riot control Stormtrooper looks like the rest of the Stormtroopers but is decidedly more bad-ass.  That is exactly the tale of the 12 cylinder GTI VW made in 2007.  Similar, but different.  Dislikes traitors.

Bonus: Maz Kanata

She probably should not drive.  900 plus years old, extremely nearsighted.  Easily the worst character in the movie.  The CGI was so bad with Maz it was like she was a bad combination of the prequels and a Pixar character.  She kind of looks like Voldemort got stuck in a tanning bed.

9 Wonderful Signature Headlights

Some companies are great at designing headlights.  From the Porsche 928’s awesome round flip-up headlights to the Tucker 48’s revolutionary center-mounted turning headlamp, a car’s lights have been a tool for automotive designers that can make or break the look of the entire vehicle.  With the adoption of LEDs came the concept of “signature daytime-running-lights” that allow cars to be recognized from a distance in rear-view mirrors.  Here are nine of the best examples of such lights.  Other manufacturers take note, these are recognizable, beautiful, and original.  The rest are mostly indistinguishable and look like knock-offs of Audi’s original signature lamps.

1:  Audi R8

Audi r8 01
The car that basically started the signature light craze is still one of its kings.  Audi is easily the strongest contender in the signature light game.

Audi r8 02

2:  Bentley Speed6 concept

Bentley Speed6 01

A great evolution of Bentley’s current (dated) dual round headlight.  This concept lamp is beautifully sculpted up close and instantly recognizable of Bentley’s super-luxury history.

Bentley Speed6 02

3:  Cadillac CT6

Cadillac CT6 01

Cadillac, like Audi, is an example of utilizing similar signature lights across the range.  The current Escalade was its best example of vertical LEDs until the CT6 was unveiled.  The vertical nature of the lights is also a homage to Cadillacs of old.

The 2016 Cadillac CT6 elevates to the top of the Cadillac range, and creates a new formula for the prestige sedan through the integration of new technologies developed to achieve dynamic performance, efficiency and agility previously unseen in large luxury cars. Pre-production model shown.

4: Ford GT

Ford GT 01

This one doesn’t need much explaining— its just plain cool and the two lines create a distinctive look rather than another curvy Audi-esque afterthought most manufacturers use.

Ford GT 02

5:  Ford Mustang

Ford Mustang 01

///.  That means Mustang now. /// is all over the car, inside and out. /// is also the taillights.  You will not be confusing those three bars for a Camaro or Challenger in your rear-view mirrors ever.  Expect /// to be synonymous with Mustang for generations to come.

Ford Mustang 02

6:  Infiniti Q50

Infiti q50 01

Surprised?  Infiniti is an oft-forgotten carmaker, but there current design language is killing it.  The sickle-like lights on new Infinitis are have such good diffusion that they look superb as they taper toward the end of the hook.  The taillights feature a similar look and Infiniti’s recent concepts suggest they intend to continue this signature look for future vehicles.

Infiniti q50 02

7:  Lamborghini Huracan

Lambo Huracan 01

Yes, since the Aventador, all Raging Bulls have had awesome angular lights.  Another example of Volkswagon Auto Group’s domination in the LED game.  Check out the Veneno too— its less plebeian than the Huracan and has even wilder headlights, but the commonality of the Huracan makes its lights more recognizable.

Lambo Huracan 02

8:  McLaren MP4-12C

Mclaren mp-12c 01

I know, its just the 12C now.  I also know that I could have picked the P1 or the 650s because they have the same signature light, but the 12C is just better looking.  McLaren’s signature lights mimic their swoosh logo.

Mclaren mp-12c 02

9:  Porsche 918 Spyder

Porsche 918 01

Really the entire Porsche range.  Another great VAG design.  Like the /// of the new Mustang, : : is now synonymous with Porsche.  Its timeless, its simple, it was a design overlooked by other companies.  Very Porsche-like indeed.  : :          : :

Porsche 918 02

Too bad everytime I think a 918 is creeping up on me its a Macan or a Panamera.  If I’m lucky its a GT3 or a Targa.